This past month, I have been repeatedly faced with situations that required me to fully trust myself. While being able to trust myself seems like something I should have mastered long ago, I do still struggle, particular in certain situations.
As I have navigated these situations this past month, I realized that my hesitation to trust myself came down to a fear of not being perfect, of getting it all wrong. Instead of trusting myself, I sought out validation from others because I didn’t trust that what I had was enough or that what I said or did was okay. I agonized and obsessed over decisions, turning to the internet for the answers that only I had within.
As I was about to send an important email, I froze, wanting desperately for someone to read the email first before I hit the dreaded send button. Did I make any typos? Did I even make sense? Was I getting my point across? I recalled being a young girl and wanting my mom to always review my essays and homework. What if I made a mistake? What if it wasn’t perfect? What if I wasn’t perfect?
When do you find it hardest to trust yourself? For some it’s around food, for others around sex or alcohol.
I am learning to trust myself by accepting that I am not perfect. Accepting this tender, vulnerable part of myself somehow makes trusting myself a little easier. Progress not Perfection. I am taking risks when I can – like hitting post on blog – unedited and imperfect.